Life is hard. I don’t think anybody would disagree with me on that. But, sometimes, I think it’s hard only because we make it so. It is really easy to focus on what’s not working – unsatisfying job, unfulfilling relationship, wasted time/dreams….never mind car troubles, bills – taxes! The list can go on and on. Many of us think that the deck is stacked against us. And the more that we focus on all of our worries, the more they seem to pile up! Is that all that there really is to life?
Have you ever had “one of those days”? You wake up late for work. When you jump out of bed, you stub your toe. You spill your coffee as you’re trying to get ready, only to realize that you’re out of milk! Your shower is cold, the traffic is worse than usual, and you can’t find a parking space. Naturally, your day is shot. One thing after another goes wrong.
The only thing that was truly wrong in this scenario was the perspective. When we focus only on the negative, that becomes the only thing that we can perceive. When I find myself in that cycle of negative thinking, I immediately stop myself and try to think of something positive. By turning my thoughts to something that IS good, I am able to get a little perspective.
As soon as I wake up in the morning, I lay in my bed and think of something that I’m grateful for. Sometimes it’s too early to even be that positive! In that case, I think of something good that happened the day before – or even just something that I was able to accomplish that day. I don’t get out of bed until I have a positive thought. That helps me set the tone for the day.
Of course, as the day goes on, other fears, worries and resentments pop up. When that happens, I do it again – think of something positive. It’s a constant process. It takes work. The more you practice thinking positive, the easier it gets. I just recently did a gig that wasn’t as profitable as I had hoped. It was a lot of work to prepare for it and it was a long day. Inevitably, I started to get frustrated and depressed. I was able to recognize where that train of thought was going. So, instead I focused on the fact that the day of the event was beautiful and I got to be outside. I was in the company of friends and we made each other laugh all day. It was a great atmosphere with a lot to see. By looking at my day that way, I could see that it wasn’t a loss. I didn’t make a lot of money, but I had a fantastic experience.
So, what do you want your life to be? Do you want a life filled with fear and frustration or one with peace and joy? You get to decide. Nothing is perfect and life is rarely easy, but there is beauty and light everywhere. All you have to do is look for it.
If you still need a little help finding the blessings in your life, come by Cafe Tu Tu Tango this Friday or Sunday night to get a reading from me. Maybe I can help you find a new perspective!
I have been going through some pretty major changes in my life lately. I have made some decisions that may appear a little risky to others. One of those changes was to quit my day job and become a full time artist and reader. Now, let me let you in on a little secret – not that long ago, if you suggested that I quit my job for that reason, I would have told you that you were crazy. But, that’s exactly what I did.
I won’t lie – it hasn’t been a totally easy transition. There has been a lot of hard work and quite a few sacrifices. Regardless, I know it was the right decision. I followed my heart. Sounds easy, right? Of course it isn’t! Most of us don’t have faith in ourselves. We don’t believe that we can deal with the challenges we may face or the setbacks. And many don’t even know what their higher self sounds like.
For me, the key is joy. As I looked at my life – what was working and what wasn’t – I focused on finding the joy. In the beginning, all I could see was the negative (naturally :-P) so decided to remove the things from my life that brought me pain. That has been quite a process in itself! There were many things in my life that made me uncomfortable, but I was used to them. I very much believed that the devil you know is way better than the one you don’t know. But, I soon started to realize that my expectations that change brought more hardship were preventing me from moving forward. And so I discovered that the unknown wasn’t so scary after all.
As I was banishing negativity from my life, I found that there really were things that brought me joy! When new opportunities arose that could showcase my talents, I became excited. I no longer worried about whether or not they would be successful. I didn’t succumb to the fear of “can I do it?”. I was just happy. I began to realize that, because I wasn’t holding on the the fear and the doubt, I could just experience joy.
To me, the joy that I felt when I was asked to show my work – joy that was no longer hampered by fear that no one would come or doubt that I could handle the amount of work – was my heart talking to me. Joy is the language of my heart. Because I started listening to what my heart was saying, it’s started talking to me more. 😉 Now I know, that no matter what setbacks may occur, I will always get up and dust myself off. I have figured out the language of my heart and will listen to whatever it has to tell me ❤
Come see me this Friday, Saturday and Sunday for a reading at Cafe Tu Tu Tango if you think that you need a little help interpreting the language of your heart!
“How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.” Publilius Syrus (85BC – 43 BC)
Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on the past – regrets, mistakes. I often find myself wondering, what could I have done differently? From there, it is so easy to start blaming myself for things that didn’t go right. In my experience as a reader, I’m not alone in this.
In my search for answers and understanding, I turned to a deck of Goddess cards that I have. In several readings and meditations, the card for Kuan Yin kept coming up. I always knew of her as the bodhisattva of compassion, but I always thought in terms of compassion for others. But, reading a little more, I realized that she reminds us to have compassion and mercy for ourselves as well.
The fact is, everyone makes mistakes. The most important thing is that you learn from them. It is too easy to focus on the “what if’s” and “if only’s”. The best way to start to move past mistakes and learn from them is through forgiveness.
We are taught from a very young age the value of forgiveness. By forgiving one that has hurt you, you can let go of the pain and move forward. But that teaching is so often focused outwards. Love thy neighbor, forgive and forget, etc – but not love thyself, forgive thyself. I find that we will harbor guilt and resentments towards our own perceived failures that we would never subject a loved one to.
When we forgive someone who has hurt us, we are able to feel lighter – no longer weighed down by negative emotions. Look at the things in your life where you “failed”. If these “failures” were confessed to you by a friend, what would you say to them? How would you console them? Take those words and direct them towards yourself. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, because no one is. Forgive yourself for your failures, because now you know what to avoid in the future. Forgive yourself for the past, because you cannot change it – but you can learn how to be happy today.
Still need a little perspective on how to forgive yourself? Come see me this Friday and Sunday at Cafe Tu Tu Tango for a reading!
Some time back, I wrote a post called, “On Being Selfish”. In that post, I was trying to show how taking care of oneself is not only NOT a bad thing, but it is vital to survival. But how does one start to take care of themselves?
The first thing to look at is boundaries – limits. You must establish your own personal boundaries. Everyone has beliefs about what is acceptable or not for themselves. These beliefs are very personal as well as individual. There is no right or wrong when considering how you wish to be treated. Think of it in terms of physical space: You may like to stand very close to someone while speaking, but being too close may make someone else feel very uncomfortable. Are you wrong for getting in close? Are they wrong for backing away? Neither are wrong. Emotional boundaries work the same way.
The person that doesn’t like someone too close may choose to compromise and let you step closer, but you should respect their wishes and maintain a certain distance. When in a relationship, you may like to enjoy some time and space alone while your partner wants to do everything together. If you are not considering your own boundaries, you may push your own needs aside and spend all of your time with your partner. As time passes and you continue to ignore your emotional center, you begin to get irritable and then resentful. Eventually, emotions will escalate leading to arguments and worse. For your own happiness as well as that of your partner, it is best that you communicate what your needs are. Telling your partner that you are healthier and happier when you have some “me time” can open the door to a discussion on compromise. No one will know what your needs are unless you tell them.
So, sit down and ask yourself: What are the things that make me truly unhappy or uncomfortable? Begin to identify your limits. Recognizing your boundaries is the first step to maintaining them. Once you have begun to figure out your limits, decide which ones are flexible and which ones are “deal breakers” – the things that you will absolutely not stand for. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. You deserve to be respected as a human being – we all do. Standing up for your beliefs – your boundaries – tells the world that you know you are worthy of wonderful things. More importantly, it reinforces to YOU that you are deserving.
As I said before, being selfish is really just recognizing that you have needs. Setting your boundaries and standing up for them is another way of acknowledging your needs and reminding yourself that you deserve the best. Only then can you truly give your best to others.
Come on out to Cafe Tu Tu Tango this Friday and Sunday night to get a tarot reading from me if you need a little help recognizing when you may or may not be defending your boundaries ❤
expectation – ex·pec·ta·tion [ek-spek-tey-shuhn] noun
the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.
I have been thinking a lot about expectations. I never thought that having expectations was a bad thing. Now, I’m starting to see things a little differently.
I used to confuse expectations with goals. When I set myself a goal, I also set an intention. I plan and ultimately take action in order to attain that goal. But, sometimes, things occur that are beyond my control which prevent me from reaching my goal. When that happens, I become disappointed. That disappointment leads to anger, regret and resentment.
That’s when I began to realize that it wasn’t my goal that was important – it was more about the result. I became unhappy when I didn’t get the result that I was expecting. The definition above states that expectations are a result of “looking forward or anticipating” – focusing on the future. The future is something that is most definitely beyond my control. There is also a saying that expectations are future resentments. Resentments are a result of focusing on the past. It is living in the past and worrying about the future that usually brings unhappiness. I would much rather be happy living in the present.
So, now, I prefer to look at my goals more in terms of my intention. When I am mindful of my intentions and living in the present, I can let go of my expectations and be grateful for whatever the result may be. I am better able to appreciate the unexpected gifts that come my way.
There is an old saying, “Shoot for the moon, because even if you fall, you’ll land among the stars.” Goals are important. Set an intention, plan and take action – but let go of expecting a specific result. Then you can be free to enjoy life in the present.
I’ll be reading tarot at Cafe Tu Tu Tango this Friday and Sunday. Come on by and see me if you need a little help focusing on your intentions 🙂
**Author’s Note: When I initially wrote this blog, I spent quite some time composing it on the computer. After typing it all out, I lost the entire piece and could not restore a back up. So, I had to sit down and type it all over again from scratch. I received a first hand lesson in expectations! Who ever said the Universe didn’t have a sense of humor? Lol! Georgie
It is a “7” year in numerology, which is a very spiritual number. The 7 prompts us to question things on a deeper level and to discern what is true and what is not. 2014 is also the Year of the Green Wooden Horse. The Green Wooden Horse year contains the elements Fire and Earth. If you have either of those in your chart, 2014 should be lucky for you. To find out more about your Chinese astrology sign, you can click here; http://www.mastertsai.com/ChineseAstrology/Chineseastrology.htm
Our talented “Woo Woo” gang got together during the first week of 2014, had dinner, talked a lot and discussed astrology, numerology and what 2014 would be like. Here are some short messages from each of us to get the new year started.
Ronnie: Let 2014 come with Love, Hope, Renew Life, and Abundances. We thank 2013 for the what it had to teach us and the things we had to grow as humans. 2014 will be the Renewal of our faith in the God and the Universe to supply us with what we need and the things we want. I will put in as much as I can and only ask that God and the Universe supply me the energy to do the work they have given us, we are here to Enlighten the world of God’s and the Universe Love for us.
Lionrhod: Abundance is ours but we have to recognize, accept and be open to it.
Judith: Moving forward, not back. The 2013 controls have now passed. Sit tight. Moving forward, moving right. 2014 brings us all light.
Gena: Polarization, mirroring patterns, both in personal life and the global scene will be the themes this year. Seek balance and simplicity in your own life. Ask for clarity and love during your prayers and affirmations. It is a year of examining and redefining the world and our place in it.
Georgie: My wish for 2014 is for healing and light for myself and the world. I am willing to accept the abundance that the Universe offers me. I open myself to the Universe so that abundance and joy may flow through me and out to the world. It is with much gratitude that I look forward to connecting with my higher self.
Our collective New Year’s wish for you is for love, balance and abundance in the parts of your life you need it most. Everywhere!
Sometimes the dishes don’t get washed, calls and emails don’t get returned as fast as they need and the button on your favorite blouse doesn’t get sewn back on until 15 minutes before you need to wear it.
Since most intuitives are creative people, that adds the additional burden of the many projects we get enmeshed in.
My To-Do list right now includes:
- Finish the dress I’m sewing.
- Work on my website and blogs.
- Write an article for the Woo-Woo blog (YAY! If you’re reading this, I managed that one!)
- Finish transcribing my Spellcraft Secrets book into ebook format.
- Paint new candle holders for my table at Tutu.
That list doesn’t even include the day to day needs (wash clothes, lay out something to wear to work so I don’t have to race last minute, clean the fridge, cook dinner, walk the dogs) or my various jobs as a psychic and readings for my personal clients.
In the past I’ve dealt with the situation by throwing myself from one project to another and usually getting about half-way done before another “imperative” duty claimed my attention.
The result? Numerous unfinished jobs and chores and a house piled with half-finished projects that I’m afraid to put away for fear of losing my place.
And inner peace? Who has time for that? Never mind that as a psychic, one of the job requirements is to be able to clear my mind so that I can focus on what my client needs to know.
Fortunately, there’s a simple method to clear your To-Do list as well as your frazzled mind.
I use a large dry erase board for this. You can use a computer program or a simple paper notepad too. (If you’re like me, you already have enough windows open on your computer, and notepads have a tendency of growing legs.)
Start with a simple grid, dividing your board into two rows and three columns Label the columns “High” “Low” and “Peace” and the rows “Fast” and “Slow”.
High/Low are the priorities of the job. Fast/Slow is how quickly you can get it done and how long you expect it to take.
We’ll get to the Peace column soon. 🙂
Now take your To Do List and divvy it up.
High/Fast: These are important jobs that don’t take long to do. Your version of “not long” and mine might differ, but anything that takes an hour or less qualifies.
These are the jobs to get out of the way first. They’re important and they don’t take a lot of time and effort. It feels freeing to get each one done.
I like to cross them off but leave them up on my board so that I can see that I finished something and got it out of my way. You could just erase finished jobs if having a clear space makes you feel more peaceful.
High/Slow: These are the big projects that are imperative to get done but take some time to do.
For me, the project that’s filling this slot right now, is editing the 2nd edition of my Spellcraft Secrets book. Feels like it’s taking forever!
Low/Fast: These are are all the little projects that don’t take much time, but often get shunted out of the way because of those big priority projects.
Do one of these when you have 15 minutes or an hour to kill. You don’t want to get involved in your big projects because you’ve got to do something/be somewhere pressing. But rather than wasting that time on a Sudoku puzzle or otherwise twiddling your thumbs, you can cross an item off the list and feel like you accomplished something. You DID!
Low/Slow: This category requires some soul searching.
If it takes that long to do, and it’s not a high priority, does it deserve to be on the list at all? Can you just cross it off the list and decide not to do it?
Some other questions and considerations: What makes it a slow project? Is it actually time consuming to do, or is it something that you yourself aren’t skilled at? If the latter, can you pay someone more skilled to do it? Perhaps they could accomplish it much faster. Even better can you trade with them? Since everyone has a different skill set, they may have a project that’s quick and easy for you, but time-consuming for them. Or, if you don’t have money to pay them, can you barter for something you enjoy doing? My sister trades homemade pies and house-cleaning for much of her legal and medical work.
Sometimes an item is a lesser priority because it isn’t needed right away. My costume for a Halloween gig is low priority if it’s January, but starts becoming high priority around September or so. Go over your low/slow list every once in a while in case the priorities change.
If it’s “low priority because it’s something you love to and want to do, but it doesn’t need to be done, it might belong in the “Peace” column.
In the second half of this article we’ll talk about that Inner Peace column. Meanwhile, get some of those fast/highs off your back and revel in how great it feels to get things off your list.
Besides working as a reader at Tutu, Lionrhod is the author of Spellcraft Secrets, Dark Moon Gates and Nenfari. You can learn more about her books at Lionrhod.com